Many scientific researches confirm that infatuation and forbidden love hurt the brain, so Islam ordered us not to follow such kinds of love…..
Romantic Breakups Change a Woman’s Brain
When a romantic relationship ends, the emotional backlash for women can trigger brain changes visible on MRI scans, new research shows.
This new window into women’s grief sheds light on the connection between normal sadness, grief, and depression, said researcher Arif Najib, MD, with the University of Tübingen Medical Center in Tübingen, Germany. His study appears in the latest issue of the American Journal of Psychiatry.
Women generally suffer more emotionally following the breakup of a romantic relationship than men, notes Najib. But it’s long been a question: Why does unresolved grief spiral into true clinical depression for some, yet others recover? Is grief purely a prelude to depression, or does it have a different quality that needs further research?
Arif says that during depression, the brain may have a malfunctioning of the normal circuitry for handling sadness, separation, and grief.
However, grief is difficult to study because it does tend to wane as time passes, Najib said. Other studies have tried to “reproduce” grief by asking volunteers to remember a painfully sad event. These have produced less-intense reactions because they use memories, not the real thing, he said.
In his study, Najib and colleagues chose 11 female volunteers who were in the throes of grief over a recent breakup of a romantic relationship. Many were having trouble getting it out of their minds — a risk factor for major depression.
Najib’s researchers looked at brain scans while grieving women focused on sad thoughts about their romantic relationship. Then they performed brain imaging scans while women had neutral thoughts of a different person they had known for an equally long time.
During the study, the women were still having difficulty getting the loss out of their minds, but most had resolved their depressive symptoms.
“Women still grieving over the romantic relationship had the greatest brain changes” said Najib. “Although there was increased brain activity in many regions associated with sadness, they also had much less activity in the brain region associated with emotion, motivation, and attention – the amygdala. “He added.“This findings regarding grieving after a breakup lay the groundwork for future studies of the connection between normal sadness, grief, and depression “added Najib.
Forbidden love leads to death
In a new research, scientists found that pains caused by love are the same as pains resulted from any other kind of diseases and it could leads to death.
Scientists who were studying the phenomenon of love found that pains caused by love may lead to death because there is no medicine found for that disease till now.
Researchers found that separation from loved ones commonly leads to grief reactions. In some individuals, grief can evolve into a major depressive episode. The research was held by nine right-handed women whose romantic relationship ended within the preceding 4 months were studied. Subjects were scanned using blood-oxygen-level-dependent functional magnetic resonance imaging while they alternated between recalling a sad, ruminative thought about their loved one (grief state) and a neutral thought about a different person they knew an equally long time.
Scientists say that infatuation affects our heart and may lead to death
After the study scientists found that acute grief (grief minus neutral state) was associated with increased group activity in posterior brain regions, including the cerebellum, posterior brainstem, and posterior temporoparietal and occipital brain regions. Decreased activity was more prominent anteriorly and on the left and included the anterior brainstem, thalamus, striatum, temporal cortex, insula, and dorsal and ventral anterior cingulate/prefrontal cortex.
Hence, scientists concluded that during acute grief, women showed brain activity changes in the cerebellum, anterior temporal cortex, insula, anterior cingulate, and prefrontal cortex, consistent with the hypothesis. Women with greater baseline grief showed greater decreases in all these regions except for the cerebellum.
Healthy Love Life Leads to Well-Being
The Centers for Disease Control put its stamp of approval on coupledom, reporting that married people were healthier than those who were single, divorced, widowed or separated.
“Love and intimacy are the root of what makes us sick and what makes us well, what causes sadness and what brings happiness, what makes us suffer and what leads to healing,” says Dean Ornish, the founder and president of the non-profit Preventive Medicine Research Institute in Sausalito, California.
Dean Ornish in his office in Sausalito
Also he assures that “”Our survival depends on the healing power of love, intimacy, and relationships.”
According to the CDC report, married people were half as likely to be smokers as non-marrieds, were less likely to drink alcohol, were more physically active than non-marrieds, and were also less likely to suffer from headaches, back pain and psychological stress disorders.
“Married persons were healthier for nearly every measure of health,” says the CDC. Of course, researchers don’t really know why marrieds are healthier.
Additionally, studies have found significant disparities between the health benefit of marriage between women and men. While nearly a century of research has trumpeted the good health of married men, research has found that women only reap that benefit if the relationship is good. Married men, on the other hand, were healthier regardless of the quality of the relationship.
A 2003 study by Linda C. Gallo, Ph.D., found that while happily married women were thinner, exercised more, aged better, and were less likely to get heart disease than singles, women in unhappy marriages were at the highest risk for poor health.
Love in religion of Islam
Nowadays many forbidden kinds of love spread between Muslims due to the spread use of internet and satellite broadcasting in the entire world.
Therefore, Allah Almighty obligated Muslims not to follow any forbidden kind of love or infatuation except to love Allah Almighty, His prophet Mohamed peace be upon him and the believers.
But He Almighty allowed another kinds of love but indeed it must be much less than the love to Allah , the prophet and to believers which was mentioned in the following holy verse: (Say: If your fathers, your sons, your brothers, your wives, your kindred, the wealth that you have gained, the commerce in which you fear a decline, and the dwellings in which you delight … are dearer to you than Allah and His Messenger, and striving hard and fighting in His Cause , then wait until Allah brings about His Decision (torment). And Allah guides not the people who are Al-Fasiqun (the rebellious, disobedient to Allah)(Sûrat At-Taubah- The Repentance){verse24}.
Indeed, our love to our fathers, sons, brothers, wives, our kindred, the wealth that we gained, our commerce and our houses should not be more than our love to Allah and His prophet because the last kind of love is purer for us in this life and is the guide to entering the heaven.
Practical steps for treatment
Emotion represents an important role in life of people, so that the prophet peace be upon him gave us a solution to be away from any forbidden relation and that solution is marriage and if it is not available due to economic situation he advised us to fasting. On the other hand we can find married people who may involve in forbidden relation with others.
So we suggest the following steps to avoid any forbidden relation:
- Muslims must lower their gaze from looking at forbidden things: that is the key behind committing any forbidden relation, Allah says about that (Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.). That is purer for them. Verily, Allah is All-Aware of what they do){ Sûrat An-Nûr – The Light –verse30}, many scientific researches proved that watching porno films and photos leads to many serious diseases such as depression and anxiety.
- Muslims should realize benefits of lowering their gaze: Allah says about the direct benefit is: (That is purer for them)as that purity comes from the stability of heart and brain of those who used to lowering their gaze and also prevent Muslims from getting infected by many diseases such as AIDS and many other psychological diseases.
- To feel that Allah almighty observe our deeds: He Almighty says about that (Allah is All-Aware of what they do){Sûrat An-Nûr -The Light –verse30},also we must feel that all of our deeds are recorded and will be showed to us in day of resurrection , He Almighty says: (And the Book (one’s Record) will be placed (in the right hand for a believer in the Oneness of Allah, and in the left hand for a disbeliever in the Oneness of Allah), and you will see the Mujrimun (criminals, polytheists, sinners, etc.), fearful of that which is (recorded) therein. They will say: “Woe to us! What sort of Book is this that leaves neither a small thing nor a big thing, but has recorded it with numbers!” And they will find all that they did, placed before them, and your Lord treats no one with injustice){ Sûrat Al-Kahf – The Cave -verse 49}.
- To ask Allah Almighty for forgiveness from our sins: asking Allah Almighty for forgiveness is very important because He Almighty is the only one Who can blot our sins as He Almighty says: (And those who, when they have committed Fahishah (illegal sexual intercourse etc.) or wronged themselves with evil, remember Allah and ask forgiveness for their sins; – and none can forgive sins but Allah – And do not persist in what (wrong) they have done, while they know){ Sûrat Al-Imrân – The Family of Imran -verse135}. And He Almighty says: (Allah blots out what He wills and confirms (what He wills). And with Him is the Mother of the Book (Al-Lauh Al-Mahfuz)){ Sûrat Ar-Ra‘d – The Thunder -verse39}.
- Not to persist to do a wrong deed: Allah Almighty says about that: (And do not persist in what (wrong) they have done, while they know){ Sûrat Al-Imrân – The Family of Imran -verse135}. The worst things is when the believer make his own desire is his God because Muslim has only one God that is Allah Almighty, He says (Have you (O Muhammad) seen him who has taken as his ilah (god) his own desire? Would you then be a Wakil (a disposer of his affairs or a watcher) over him?){Sûrat Al-Furqân –The Criterion -verse43}.
- To make a covenant with Allah Almighty: not to back again to wrong deeds, this step is so important because it makes Muslim alert to not to commit any other sin because the convention is not with a human or a community but with Allah the creator, He says: (And fulfil (every) covenant. Verily! the covenant, will be questioned about){Sûrat Al-Isrâ’- The Journey by Night –verse 34}.
- Another practical procedures: let us to look at the results of keeping the convention with Allah Almighty :(T hose who fulfill the Covenant of Allah and break not the Mithaq (bond, treaty, covenant)* Those who join that which Allah has commanded to be joined (i.e. they are good to their relatives and do not sever the bond of kinship), fear their Lord, and dread the terrible reckoning (i.e. abstain from all kinds of sins and evil deeds which Allah has forbidden and perform all kinds of good deeds which Allah has ordained) * And those who remain patient, seeking their Lord’s Countenance, perform As-Salat (Iqamat-as-Salat), and spend out of that which We have bestowed on them, secretly and openly, and defend evil with good, for such there is a good end *’Adn (Eden) Paradise (everlasting Gardens), which they shall enter and (also) those who acted righteously from among their fathers, and their wives, and their offspring. And angels shall enter unto them from every gate (saying)* “Salamun ‘Alaikum (peace be upon you) for that you persevered in patience! Excellent indeed is the final home.){Sûrat Ar-Ra‘d – The Thunder –verse20-24}.
Also, Allah Almighty assure on the consequences of being away of sins by saying: (But as for him who feared standing before his Lord, and restrained himself from impure evil desires, and lusts* Verily, Paradise will be his abode){Sûrat An-Nâzi‘ât -Those Who Pull Out –verse40-41}.
Here we can see that the most important result of keeping the convention with Allah is : (‘Adn (Eden) Paradise (everlasting Gardens), which they shall enter and (also) those who acted righteously from among their fathers, and their wives, and their offspring).
Thanks Allah for the blessing of Islam
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By: Abduldaem Al-Kaheel
References:
– http://ajp.psychiatryonline.org/cgi/content/abstract/161/12/2245
– http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/news/20041230/romantic-breakups-change-womans-brain
– http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,147453,00.html
http://www.yogamonth.org/2009/news_article_dr_dean_ornish_AARP_yoga_stretches_mind_improves_body.php
